The folly of Umbridge
by Dragonanzar
Summary: When Umbridge decided to monitor Alexandra's lesson, she didn't realise what a big mistake she was making.


Alexandra entered her classroom to silence

_Alexandra is my own invented character. I wrote a story about her, but I can't post it on this site because it isn't a fanfiction. Just so you know, she is 63 million years old, (about 21 in elf years.) very powerful and beautiful. She doesn't suffer fools gladly, so when she came to teach elven magic at Hogwarts in harry's fifth year, she was bound to come head to head with Umbridge. Enjoy._

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Alexandra entered her classroom to silence. She was surprised at the lack of noise, until she noticed Umbridge sitting in the corner, a clipboard on her lap. She went to stand behind her desk and faced the class. She took the register. A chorus of yes' were murmured in subdued tones. She leant forward, putting her slight weight on the desk.

"Good afternoon class. Now, It seems as though we have another student today." She turned around and indicated Umbridge. The entire class looked puzzled, including the dumpy professor. Seeing everyone's looks of incomprehension, Alexandra spoke again. "You see Dolores; I don't generally allow people to be in my classroom without a valid reason. You are either here to learn, or you are not here at all. Also, I don't like students to sit behind me. I'm sure that you will understand how hard it is to watch people through the back of my head. Taking that into account, I hope that you will oblige me by moving to the spare seat next to Mr Smith." She gestured to the spare seat.

Umbridge gaped a moment, before replying.

"You are mistaken Alexandra. I'm not here to learn! I…" Alexandra interrupted.

"No? Then you are in the wrong place. I'm sure you can see yourself to the door." She pointed briefly at the exit, then turned back to the class.

"Didn't you get my note?" Alexandra sighed inaudibly, before twisting to face Umbridge.

"There was a note?" she asked, exasperated.

"Yes. I put it on your desk at lunch. It was pink. Don't you remember?..." her voice trailed off.

Suddenly Alexandra's furrowed brow, smoothed.

"Oh. Was that a note? I put it in the bin of course." She told the increasingly irate Umbridge.

"What? Why?"

"I came back from lunch, to find a shockingly pink note, filling the air with it's pungent odor. In an effort to rid my room of the stink, I wrapped the offending parchment in several other sheets of scrap paper." She wrinkled her nose. "Even now I can still smell the traces of that stench. Might I ask Dolores, why you felt the need to imbed such a sickening smell into an already ridiculous pink note?" Umbridge stood and asked in an insulted tone,

"The smell was a very expensive perfume. All my note parchment has it."

"Well it shouldn't. Besides, all this chatter has distracted us from the original topic, of why you are in my classroom, yet not inclined to learn."

"If you had read the note, you would know that I am conducting an inspection on your lesson."

"First of all, why would you feel the need to inspect my teaching?"

"So that I can check that you are teaching according to ministry regulations." She fluffed herself out with importance. Alexandra merely raised an eyebrow.

"And if I happened to be lacking…?"

"You would be sacked!" Umbridge looked pleased with herself, having delivered this bombshell. Alexandra leant on her desk, and polished her nails.

"Ah, well, I have a little problem there."

"Really?"

"Yes. You see, I am not actually employed by the head master. I am a volunteer, not profiting from my lost time. It wouldn't make a jot of difference if you sacked me. Besides, I would like to see you try to find someone else to teach this subject."

"What do you mean? Why would I have a difficult job to employ someone else?" she looked confused.

"Elvish magic can only be taught by an elf, and I can tell you that you would have a hell of a job to find another elf willing to teach humans." Alexandra told her contemptuously.

"What? You mean you're not human?" demanded Umbridge. Alexandra shook her head. "Then be prepared to receive a letter from the ministry, calling you in for a hearing from the magical creature's office. Only humans are allowed to hold wands and practice wand magic. You will be reprimanded, then disciplined." She announced triumphantly.

Alexandra just shook her head again. "What do you mean, no?" Alexandra looked up.

"My race is not bound by the rules of humans. Why would beings whose year spans over three million years, ever be tied down by petty, short lived humans? Our magic is many times stronger than yours, we cannot be killed by anything on this planet, and we cannot be severely affected by any of your spells. So tell me, why should we have to answer to your kind" while she was saying this, she stood up straight, to tower over the short woman. Umbridge took a step back, shocked. "In fact, I think that you have wasted enough of my time so..."

She bent down, gripped Umbridge by the arms, and picked her up. She carried the annoying professor out of the room, and dumped her in the passage.

"I warn you Dolores. Do not enter my classroom again if you value either your life or your sanity." She turned on her heel, striding back into her classroom, to her desk. Umbridge scrambled up, shaking with rage.

"This doesn't end here elf! I will get revenge, and on that day, you'll wish you'd never come to Hogwarts! I'll…" her voice was cut off as the door slammed in her face.

"Goodbye and good luck Dolores." Alexandra murmured in a light tone. She turned back to the class. "Now, where were we?" a bemused expression crept onto her face, as the silence was broken by the noise of applause.

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_Now it's up to you. If you want me to write a sequel oneshot to this, on how Umbridge tries to get her revenge, hit that little review button pleas_


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